Demoralized politically?

May 15th, 2010

Dear Friends:

                     We’re supposed to be demoralized. Not going to vote. Not going to work for the Democrats’ agenda. It’s important that we be demoralized—for those who want to derail the slow, difficult progress we’re making toward a more equitable, inclusive, less predatory, society.

                     “The Democrats are”a discouraged and demoralizing bunch….what we’ve got right now, Sean, is shaping up as a real parallel to 1994 and what we call ‘ the elephant stamped.’” Bill Bennet to Sean Hannity on Fox News, March 1, 2010 (http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,587676,00.html) “The elephant stamped”: in other words, the Republicans crushed the opposition.

                   The Republicans are counting on Democratic demoralization to carry them back into power in November. That’s the same strategy Newt Gingrich used in 1994: make it impossible to govern and portray the Democrates as inept and ineffective. This is the strategy William Kristol advanced in his famous 1993 memo on how to defeat the Clinton’s health care plan and derail the Democrats (http://www.ashbrook.org/publicat/onprin/v2n1/kristol.html) That time it worked.

                This time it doesn’t have to. Yes, the Republican propaganda machine (aka Fox News) spins out fear stories about Obama and the Democratic agenda that polarize our country. But we are making progress in many areas and there is much to fight for. The 2010 election has begun.

                  The key is to “take back the narrative”– to counter the lies and distortions being spun in order to cripple the possibility of reform. A very effective way to do it is at the local level, grass-roots level in our own communities. Here are two ways to go about it:

1. Write a letter to the Letters to the Editor section of your local paper. The Letters to the Editor page is the SECOND MOST WIDELY READ PAGE in the newspaper, according to political organizers. People want to know what’s going on among their neighbors and in the town they live in. What an effective way to get favorable perspectives on Democratic candidates out there! Many candidates will support your efforts to write letters. Here is one example, with some great tips about how to go about writing to your local newspaper: http://www.kusterforcongress.com/free_details.asp?id=16.

2. Go to or help organize a house party for a candidate and invite people you know.

                 This is a very effective way to humanize Democratic candidates and bring people together to hear them.

3. Adopt-a-candidate out of state. You may not have a local election, but you can find a candidate you support out of state and contribute to their campaign, either financially or by working for them long-distance. These days most Federal candidates have excellent websites with many opportunities to help long-distance.

                  The key is to get involved. 

                 As conservative columnist Kathleen Parker said in a recent editorial on the need to speak out at the community level to discourage the violent extreme in our country: “When you choose to remain silent, consider yourself complicit in whatever transpires.” (Washington Post, 4/16/10)

                Regardless of how you feel about specific aspects of the Democratic agenda, we hope you will agree that scaring voters and  polarizing the country by demonizing people who disagree with you is harmful to our democratic  process.  A democracy, alas, is an easy thing to subvert: just act like only you and those you agree with know the truth and all the “others” are evil demons.

                You don’t have to agree with all his policies to agree with what President Obama said just this weekend in his speech at the University of Michigan, ”What troubles me is when I hear people say that all of government is inherently bad….When our government is spoken of as some menacing, threatening foreign entity, it ignores the fact that in our democracy, government is us.” He went on to caution, ”At its worst, it can send signals to the most extreme elements of our society that perhaps violence is a justifiable response.” (New York Times, 5/1/10)

                 So, any of you who want to make your voice heard—in the 2010 local, Congressional and Senate elections: speak up, write to your local papers, support candidates!

Parents and Children: Getting Past Power Struggles 2

October 25th, 2009

Time outs can be as helpful for parents as for kids-counting to ten, taking a deep breath before speaking (or yelling), making a phone call to a friend. Remember, you have the more difficult task-you’re the parent, not them. We need to be calm ourselves during tense moments with our kids.

Breaking rigid internal sets of gestalts is very important when you feel in a power struggle. When you are stuck, try to come at things from a new angle.

Humor and playfulness that is not seen as mocking or shaming can be very helpful during control struggles.

Parents and Children: Getting Past Power Struggles

October 25th, 2009

You don’t always have to win as a parent

Never underestimate the importance of saving face for kids of all ages. Try to find ways for children to go along with what you want without leaving them feeling humiliated or too exposed.

Being attentive to the connective yearning of your child underneath the provocative behavior can defuse tension. Sometimes a child’s unwillingness to be quiet or settle down has to do with their wish to sit in your lap, or have your attention for awhile, a friendly hand on their shoulder, a word of encouragement. Sometimes, too, it’s because they feel unsafe or frightened in some way.

We often get into control battles with our kids when we are rushing or distracted. Stepping back, taking a deep breath, and devoting some time to listening to your child for a few moments may actually save you time in the long run.

Think about your image of authority as a parent. Is it hierarchical or more egalitarian, or a mixture of both? Can you think of relationships with authority figures-at home, at school, at work-that left you feeling good about yourself? What did you hope for from authority figures as a child?

Hello world!

October 7th, 2009

Welcome to my blog!

Adult life today is a complicated and challenging matter. Many of the old rules no longer apply and men and women are faced with a many opportunities for ways to define who they are. How to hold onto treasured aspects of the past while also defining a vibrant future? What is an authentic life? What are our responsiblities to ourselves and to others? My goal on this website is to offer ideas and images and analysis that reflect my exploration of these questions, both professionally and personally. As best I can, I try to draw on many different ways of knowing and understanding what it means to be an adult in today’s world. I hope you find this website helpful, and I welcome reactions, comments, dialogue with you.

Feel free to write me and let me know your thoughts. Thank you for visiting.

All best,

Sam Osherson