Osherson has identified sources of the ambivalence that afflicts so many Jews-ranging from unfinished childhood struggles with parents to the impact of the Holocaust on Judaism itself-as well as the surprisingly strong, resilient nature of Jewish identification. Ambivalence and commitment co-exist for many Jews, and Judaism can thrive by honoring both. Many Jewish men and women who have questioned their tradition are now creating a vibrant, enriched Judaism for our contemporary world. The excitement and joy that comes from rekindling the flame is the powerful message of this book. Samuel Osherson has begun a new chapter in the long story of the survival of the Jewish people.
Finding Our Fathers examines the hidden struggle faced by millions of men: how to
reconcile their childhood images of their fathers, and all men, as silent, stoic
breadwinners with the life they want to live now - embracing two-career marriages,
closer ties with their children, a greater emotional awareness. Harvard psychologist
Samuel Osherson shows how a man's "unfinished business" with his father affects his
relationships with his spouse, children, friends, and boss, and how it can lead to
a profound sense of loneliness, vulnerability, and rage.
Osherson's work penetrates the shroud of silence that prevents men from coming to terms with their deepest feelings and fears. He shows how every man can resolve the inner conflict of the father-son relationship and begin to develop a new sense of strength and purpose in his family life and career.
This new, thoroughly revised edition of Finding Our Fathers, which became an instant bestseller when originally published in 1986, is the first and most crucial step to finding a more rewarding, more vital masculine identity. It is one of the most important books you'll ever read about your father - or about yourself.
Sam Osherson has found many men and women who are Jewish under the radar: families observing the holidays at home; intermarried couples raising their children Jewish; study groups working with and without the benefit of rabbis; and people being inspired to creative work and charitable action by Judaism. These people are widening the doors of Judaism, creating new holiday rituals, increasing the openness to other religions, and moving this patriarchal religion toward one without authoritarian
Table of Contents
Introduction: Men's Unfinished Business
1. Unspoken Debts: Men's Struggle to Separate from Father
2. Dealing with Authority: Mentors and Fathers
3. Of Working Wives and Men's Loneliness
4. Vulnerability and Rage: What Not Being Able to Have Children Tells Us About All Men
5. The Empty Urn: Do Men Get Pregnant Too?
6. Fatherhood as a Healing and Wounding Experience
7. Healing the Wounded Father
Notes and References
Bibliography
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